I get this a lot when someone finds out that my husband and I are splitting up. I’m usually just as surprised as they are that my honest-to-god answer is that I’m actually doing really well. And I have to tell you that if this had happened as recently as three years ago, that would not have been the case. I would have been a complete and utter mess. So how can I be doing so well now?
As I mentioned in my last post, the biggest contributor to getting me through this very rough transition has been, and is, my intuitive process painting practice.
How could something as simple as brushing tempera paint onto paper without concern for the product be such powerful support in such a disorienting, often quite painful process? How can art help heal a broken life?
I have some trouble answering this “how”, but I know it works. Here are a few things I have gained, and continue to receive, from this amazing practice, especially in reference to my ongoing process of uncoupling.
I am more strongly connected to me, to my strength, my love, my fierceness, my creative power (my power to create art, and also my power to create a new life for myself). And through that connection I am less dependent on an other, or on outer circumstances, to validate me, to define me. What I need is truly within me, I just need to be willing to listen and to trust it. And this practice has helped me learn to trust myself and my connection to Source as nothing else ever has.
I can point to specific paintings I’ve done over the past year or so that helped me to access the emotions that needed to be felt on this journey of uncoupling, emotions I was hiding from or blocking, or didn’t even know I had, like fear and anger and grief. It helped me to embrace and truly process them, not just express them. And this helped me to embrace greater levels of joy and excitement too. It helped me to see the possibilities of change, not just the fear. I’ve learned that there are no “bad” emotions, there is just greater discomfort with some more than others. And I have learned to be more comfortable with that discomfort because I have learned that the only true way out is through.
Perhaps most of all his practice has helped me to accept that uncoupling is a process. And just like with intuitive process painting, there is no right or wrong way to feel, no due date for getting through it or over it, no expectation for how it should look, or how it should turn out.
So beginning on Tuesday, September 6th, I’m offering a special Creative Flight series just for women going through the uncoupling process to reconnect with themselves and their creative power, and to connect meaningfully with other women going through uncoupling. Whether you’re uncoupling a marriage or some other form of partnership, whether it’s happening now, it happened in the recent past, or it happened a while ago but it still feels pretty fresh, I invite you to allow yourself access to this amazing practice, to let it nourish you and give you strength, to let it support you in your process. I also invite you to share this information with anyone you feel might benefit from it.